12 Life Mottos from Common Cat Phrases

Cats, whether you love them or hate them, are interesting creatures. In fact, they’re just absolute weirdos. Even if you don’t consider yourself a cat person, think about how badass you would be if you had the mentality of a cat. Here are the 12 most common things that cats say (telepathically), that we should all tell people who are rude to us or our friends:

1 – “Fill my food bowls.”

Now. No questions asked, just do it. Be assertive. Or perhaps most cats are more aggressive than assertive…


2 – “Don’t touch me unless I ask you to.”

Seriously, hands should be kept to yourself at all times unless otherwise granted permission from the cat him/herself. Same with people with no boundaries…let them know to back off.


3 – “I couldn’t care less.”

Always be as honest as a cat. When another person starts an argument or is gossiping, let this person know very quickly that that isn’t your style.


4 – “Quit interrupting my naps.”

Naps are refreshing and relaxing. If someone is constantly waking you from peaceful nap time, put him/her in her place.


5 – “Clean out my toilet.”

We serve cats night and day, aside from feeding and watering them, by removing dirty litter and replacing it with a fresh, clean supply. So this is the statement to make to those who believe they are above everyone else in the human race – the snobs and snooty people who treat everyone as servants.


6 – “Stop moving when I’m trying to lay on you.”

Humans only exist in a cat’s world for the cat’s own pleasure and well-being. When faced with poor customer service, when you are being a completely compliant customer, say this cat phrase.

(Well, maybe not. There are many harassment laws and sensitive minds in today’s work force. Use at your own discretion.)


7 – “Do not touch me until you’ve washed your hands.”

Straight up. No questions asked.


8 – “Give me a treat or I’ll claw your skin off.”

Give me what I want or there will be punishment. Humans are just slaves to the feline species. Perhaps this level of ruthlessness isn’t necessary, but when you need something, don’t let others stand in your way.


9 – “It’s time to get out of bed. I don’t care if it’s the weekend, I need to be fed.”

My needs > Your needs. By far. That’s the cat motto. Sometimes it’s okay to be a bit selfish and put your needs first. You are important and you deserve to be content and at peace.


10 – “Why are you talking to me as if I can actually respond?”

Cats will just look at you as if you came from the moon when you speak to them. They know you are wasting your breath and wasting their time. This is the method to use when someone repeatedly brings up a subject that you have openly expressed your discomfort for multiple times.


11 – “I watch you while you sleep.”

Whisper this to anyone, right in his ear, and you are sure to never see that person again. It’s weird, but it’s a way to get that person to leave without being rude or obnoxious.


12 – “Mind your business.”

Cats don’t like it when you watch them during their morning baths. People don’t like it when you watch them in general. If someone has a staring problem, maybe it’s time to have some words with the creeper.


Thank you for reading this post about cat quotes and how we can (and should) apply them to problem people. Also, thank you to my beautiful boys, Collin and Anakin, who were the models for this post. Have a great day! Be assertive, be like a cat.

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Another Week of Clouds

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This is Why Pets Are Better Than Friends

Loneliness can be a harmful feeling for anyone across all walks of life. Most of the time when loneliness hits, the first thought is that it might be a good idea to go out and meet new people or form new friendships. However, sometimes the best kind of new friend isn’t human at all. When craving companionship, instead of hanging around local places to pick up new acquaintances, head out to the local animal shelter and consider adopting a furry friend to curve the aches of feeling alone.

Here are six reasons why pets are better than friends.

1 – With a pet, you’ll never have any drama between the two of you.

Unless you consider the potential destruction of furniture and other household items “drama” you aren’t likely to experience any from your pet. These beautiful creatures live each day like it’s their only day to exist. They aren’t going to dwell on the past or care what happened just five minutes ago. They couldn’t care less whose boyfriend you stole last year or that you were the only family member to not chip in for your father’s birthday gift. None of the petty situations in life matter to your pets, creating a drama free environment for you to live in.

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2 – Your pet will never leave you.

It can be extremely painful to lose a friend when he/she leaves town or just stops communicating all together. A pet will never do this because a) it’s probably trapped in a fence or house, but also because b) it loves its owner unconditionally.

It relies on the caregiver for companionship, food, and water and will be eternally grateful for these selfless services. It will never take off to another state for a job opportunity, clean out its closet to go take care of its sick relative, or grow tired of you and leave without notice. After adopting a pet, the worry that the new trusty companion might leave will never be an issue. It will be faithful and loyal until the very end.

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3 – Your pet absolutely depends on you.

The feeling of not being needed by our friends can cause serious self-worth, value, and esteem issues. A pet, however, will forever be alive due to the loving hands of its owner. It will need you from day one until your time together comes to a close. You are the most important person on the planet to your furry friends. Being valued can make anyone feel needed and necessary.

4 – Your pet will always be excited to see you.

It’s the best part of the work day when you’re free to go home and excite the senses of your eager pet. It will run to the door to greet you with a wagging tail, meowing voice, or a purring belly. Whether you are gone two minutes or two days, you can look forward to that pure, genuine excitement from your pet after being without you for any length of time. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that no matter how bad the work day may be, there will be an ecstatic little furball awaiting your homecoming with kisses and sweetness?

5 – You’re free to speak your mind without fear of judgement when venting to your pet.

Most often when we vent, we aren’t seeking advice or opinions, we just need someone to listen. Your secrets and views about the world will always be safe within the mind of your furry companion. It won’t judge you for feeling angry, sad, or even extremely happy. It will sit there with its sensitive ears and take in every single word you say to it. Who better to spill your darkest secrets to?

6 – Pets are not materialistic and will never ask for too much.

Friends might only hang around as long as you are the one paying for events. They might not want to hang out with you at all if you drive a rusty car, use a flip phone from 2008, or live in a sketchy apartment. Or your friends might just constantly judge your fashion styles and weird hobbies. You know who will never even care about any of that stuff? Your pet.

A pet can have entertainment for days with a cereal box it pulled out of the trash can. That’s the true meaning of “making the most of what you have.” Feed the pets, give them water, take them to receive annual shots, and spend some time with them – that’s about it. They’re not going to ask for a brand new car, for a fancy dinner, for a cake on their birthdays (of course, you can if you prefer to celebrate the special occasion), and most of their toys can be made from random, cheap items around the house.

No complaints, no snarky remarks, just you and your pet living each day with what you have.

If loneliness is beating down on you each night, stay out of the bars, clubs, and online dating sites. Check out the local animal shelter, save a life, and enjoy all the awesome benefits that come with taking care of an amazing animal. That pesky loneliness will go away and you will secure a lifelong, loyal companion.

Thanks for reading this post. Go make a new furry friend today.

References: Jacobs Bao, K. and Schreer, G. (2016) Pets and Happiness: Examining the Association Between Pet Ownership and Wellbeing, Anthrzoös, 29:2, 283-296, DOI: 10.1080/08927936.2016.1152721 <http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/08927936.2016.1152721>

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